166. searching for Pastor Morpheus

In the movie, The Matrix, the main character, Neo, learns that the world that he thought was real was actually an elaborate computer simulation. But even while living in this virtual world, he had a sense that there was something more, something behind it all. Morpheus describes it this way:

". . .you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life. . . . You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad."

This is kind of how I feel about spirituality. See, I've never been one of those people who possessed (no pun intended) the ability to sense, sometimes even see, the spiritual half of life. And I know there are all kinds of people who read this blog, but let met tell you, I've not only read stories about people who were in touch somehow with things of the spirit, I've actually hung out with Christians who were in touch with something paranormal.

For example, once I was in the Philippines with a pastor. One of the village locals was giving us a tour of their town and time and time again, this pastor would point to a house and say things like, "do they sell drugs out of there?" Our guide had this ashen look on his face and with some reluctance, he confirmed that drugs were made and sold through that house.

Now I suppose this could have been the guide just trying to be nice to the pastor from America, but later in the tour, we're walking down the street and this pastor stops in his tracks and bends over like he's trying to catch his breath. After a few seconds, he asks us, "did you feel that?" I didn't feel anything and neither did our guide but he continued, "the whole spiritual mood of this place just shifted, something's coming." And as soon as he said this, around the corner a silent parade comes marching down the street carrying a large statue of the local patron saint (not that this pastor or I have anything against the Catholic church, it's just that in the Philippines, the Catholic church is pre-Vatican II which means they still practiced the old school, oppressive style church - heavy on guilt and indulgences to pay for church building projects). And there was no warning, no sounds signaling its approach. The pastor says the spiritual mood changed and then, surprise, the parade comes around the corner.

And there are a few other instances (one even in my own life) but I want to get to my point which is that I believe that there is a spiritual realm to the world and to life. I also believe that some people have the ability to tap into and/or sense this world while others lack this ability, or at least don't have as much of the ability as others do. I'm one of the latter. I'm about as sensitive to things of the spirit as a can of Spam is with its feelings.

But...

But I have to believe that it's possible to break through, to learn, to develop the ability to know God on something more than an intellectual level. Because I'm tired of it, and I need something more. And I want something I can share with people hurting and in need. People like that don't need an intellectual argument, they need comfort for the heart and that is mainly a work of the spirit.

I know its there. I know it like Neo knew about the Matrix. I can tell there's something there beneath the surface, something that wants me as much as I want it. I know it's there and I want in.

So if anyone knows where I can find Pastor Morpheus, let me know.