278. not slacking off...not exactly

Yeah, I didn't post last week. But I had friends from Hawaii in town.

Also, on Monday nights I've been attending a series my church is hosting called Faith and Race. Thoughtful, challenging stuff.

I'm ninety percent sure I can get to another post in the Layman's Theology series by the end of this week but right now I'm working on something to put on my bass drum.

Here's a preview:


There are places out there where you can send in a design and they'll custom make you a bass drum head but that route costs about $100.

I have other plans. Not sure if it's going to work but it'll be a helluva lot less than the mail-order version.

Wish me luck.

277. cowboys and the kingdom of God

[PREFACE]

Earlier this week I mentioned that I would be adding another installment of the Layman's Theology series. I'm not sure if this entry qualifies because most of it is about a recent situation at work but I do talk a bit about the kingdom of God near the end. Maybe think of this as a practical, real-world application of some of what I've been writing about.

And a word of caution. I've written before about how I made it a point to swear less in my blog (I used to have a potty mouth...see blog 30) but sometimes you just gotta haul out the heavy artillery and drop the almighty f-bomb because no other word will do.

[END PREFACE]

So I haven't said much about what's been going on at work. I've written before about my workplace, - about how dehumanizing it can be and how hard it is to work with a certain coworker (code name: Harold).

These last couple months have been especially busy. I've been working like mad from the moment I start until the moment I leave but I still haven't been able to get on top of things. Thankfully, I've been able to maintain a kind of steady state of chaos (not letting it overwhelm me) but it hasn't been easy. And yeah, there are two of us in the department and so I suppose I should be using the pronoun "we" instead of "I" but you know that thing about eighty percent of the work being done by twenty percent of the workers? In this case, it seems like eighty percent of the work is being done by fifty percent of the workers: me.

Well earlier this week, I'd been noticing that a relatively low priority project (LPP) was really piling up. I asked Harold if he could take care of it. He responded that our boss (let's call him Leroy) had given him a special project (SP) to work on so he was too busy. I knew he was working on SP but it was from another department and I knew I had far too many more pressing matters in our department to get to LPP myself so right before I left for the day, I popped into Leroy's office and told him about the situation. Leroy told me that things in our department come before things in other departments. He said he'd talk to Harold and make sure he set aside his SP to work on LPP.

I've said before that Harold isn't exactly the easiest person to work with - he has a short fuse and he's not exactly what I would call efficient or organized. Now it's not like I walk on eggshells around him, but to be honest, I basically try to stay out of his way (which often isn't hard to do since he spends most of his day at his desk working on...something, don't ask me what because most of the work that needs to be done is out in the racks where the boxes and the files are...where I am).

Anyway, the next day, I knew Leroy was going to talk to Harold and I wasn't sure how he would respond. When I got there in the morning, things were cool and so I figured everything was copacetic. But then in the afternoon, Harold comes back from his lunch break and I see him grab the box that holds the files that have to do with LPP. It's a project that I'd worked on before and I didn't think that Harold had ever done it before so I casually offered to show him what to do but before I could even finish my offer, he brusquely interrupts me saying, "yeah, I know what to do."

Taken aback, I said okay, but there are two parts to this project. I knew the first half was very similar to other things we do on a regular basis but the second half is a bit different and so I went on to ask him to let me know when he was done with the first half so I could tell him about what was different about the second half. Again, before I could finish my offer, he interrupts and says, "hey, I've been doing this for over five years all right? I got it, okay?"

Now before I tell you how I responded, you need to understand something. Like I said before, the reason I wasn't able to get to LPP was because for the past couple months, things have been SUPER busy and no matter how much work I did or how fast I did it, I just couldn't get to the lower priority projects. During this time, Harold was spending the majority of his day working on SP - a project that he can do comfortably while sitting at his desk - while I worked my ass off out in the racks. There were a bunch of times when I'd walk by Harold's desk sweating after finishing yet another kick ass order and I'd see him just sitting at his desk casually working on SP. It didn't seem fair and it didn't seem right and while I just kept doing the best work I knew how, I'd be a bald-faced liar if I told you I wasn't irritated by this situation. But I bit my tongue and kept nose to grindstone.

Well all that latent frustration sprung to the surface upon hearing Harold's blunt/rude/abrasive response to my best attempts at merely offering to help. But while Harold has a short fuse and a loud pop, I have a long fuse and the most aggro response I could muster was to say, "alright, fine. If you got it, you got it." I shook my head, grabbed another order and headed back out into the racks to pull more files.

Of course what I really wanted to say was: "Hey, fuck you, you lazy mutherfucker. It's hard to believe you've worked here for five years seeing as how slow, lazy and unorganized you are. You know, you're so full of shit it's no wonder your breath stinks!"

But I didn't.

Yeah, I'm passive-aggressive. I'm working on it. But you gotta admit, that would have been a sweet response.

Anyway, while I was out pulling my order I calmed down a bit and thought about what I'd written before about trying to spread the kingdom of God at a workplace where I spend most of my time with boxes and files.

And then it hit me.

Yeah, I spend most of my day with inanimate objects but Harold is there as well even though I don't interact with him all that much (and not just because I try to avoid him). How stupid is it for me to be so proud of how I keep those lifeless boxes neat and organized while I secretly harbor gross, nasty thoughts about my living, breathing coworker?

I also thought about the book I've been reading during my lunch breaks, Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. He calls himself an "ordinary radical" but his story is anything but ordinary - among other things, he spent a summer in Calcutta with Mother Theresa and he spent time in Iraq before and during the American shock and awe campaign. He would say that it's a shame that his life is seen as extraordinary because all he did was ask the simple question, "what if Jesus really meant what he said in the Bible," and everything else just followed as a result.

And so that got me thinking. What if Jesus meant what he said when he told us (me) to love our enemies? Now Harold isn't my enemy per se, but that loophole is covered by that bit where Jesus said the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself and there's no weaseling myself out of that one.

And then that got me thinking. What if I include Harold in my little mission to live out the kingdom of God at my workplace? I mean, what if I look past all the shortcomings I see in him and treated him the way I would if he were a kick ass filing and box-shelving machine? Because I really believe that as a christian, the way the kingdom of God gets spread is by living now the way I would if the fall had never happened or the way I will after Jesus comes again to restore the world. If I believe that then why shouldn't I do my best to treat Harold as a peer?

I mean, what if Harold wasn't always this way? What if life has been really shitty to him and that's why he is the way he is now? What if he only does the minimum to get by at work because he's the kind of person Bruce Springsteen was thinking of when he wrote the lines: "end up like a dog that's been beat too much / 'til you spend half your life just covering up." What if he's hyper-defensive because other coworkers in the past have treated him poorly.

And that led to more questions: What if I did my best to treat Harold with respect? What if I tried treating him the way Jesus would if he were working here? What if Matthew 5:46 were translated this way:

"If you only treat hard working coworkers with respect then what reward will you get? Is not your boss already doing that?"

I'm sure there are some who would say that I'm an idiot, that I should bitch and moan to Leroy about the way Harold works, that I shouldn't stand for this kind of injustice.

Maybe they're right to raise those objections but again, what if Jesus meant it when he talked about an entirely new way of living in his Sermon On the Mount - a way of living where love and grace are extended to all, regardless?

According to the rules of this world, it's backwards, upside-down, inside-out, but I'm not a citizen of this world. This week at my Bible study we looked at John 3 where Jesus tells Nicodemus that "no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." And one of the things we discussed is the idea that being "born again" means adopting an entirely new way of living which can (should) be different from the normal way of life.

Back when I lived in Hawaii, every once in a while (usually in Waikiki or in other spots frequented by tourists) I'd see someone walking around with a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and a huge belt buckle. They'd stick out like sore thumbs because the standard dress code in Hawaii is shorts, t-shirt, and slippers (aka flip-flops). But I think that's kind of what it's like to be a christian. I mean, we don't dress different but we live different - we love the unloved, we extend grace where judgement should be, we live now the way we would if the fall had never happened, the way we will in heaven.

I thought all these crazy things our there in the racks, pulling my order, and when I was done, when I went back to my desk to verify my items, I walked over to Harold and apologized to him. I told him that I didn't mean to imply that he didn't know how to do his job and that if I gave him that impression then I was sorry.

He said, "don't worry about it," and I couldn't tell how he took what I said but I figured I'd just take his response at face value and I replied, "cool, thanks."

I don't know.

Maybe he'll never change. Maybe he'll think I'm a schmuck and take advantage of my willingness to put up with his work ethic. Maybe he won't even notice that I'm trying to be nice to him.

Doesn't matter to me...well, that's not entirely true. It's still a huge struggle to not think of Harold as a lazy bum but I'm going to do my best (so help me God) to be Jesus to Harold - to practice preemptive forgiveness and grace. Because just as a cowboy walks through Waikiki with a huge Stetson hat on, I walk through life as a newborn citizen of the kingdom of God.

276. target audience

I've been thinking about what to cover next in my Layman's Theology series (part 1, part 2). But I think I'll take care of a bit of business so I can set my mind at ease and get on with other posts.

See, there were two responses that I got to my post about salvation. One of them was on my Blogger blog and the other was on my pastor's blog. Both of them were very similar and I'm wondering if they were left by the same person. In my entry about salvation, I talked about how salvation isn't just about being saved from hell or being reconciled with God, it's about joining God in his plan to fix/heal/bless this broken/sick/cursed world. Both comments had to do with asking why one had to be a christian in order to be a part of making the world a better place. There are lots of non-religious organizations out there who are already at work bringing attention to and solving the problems I mentioned. What's the difference between them and christians who are doing the same things?

And I didn't have any good answers to give them. Really, those questions continue haunt me because they asked a fundamental question to which I had no adequate response. I've been letting them stew in the back of my mind all week but I'm still coming up goose eggs.

But I don't want to just leave the question hanging. I promised both people who commented that I would try and answer them in a future entry. Unfortunately, this isn't it. This is merely a kind of deflection or a delay tactic (basically an excuse) but I will make good on my word at some point.

Come to think of it, their question is a natural one for a non-christian to ask but the reason I didn't anticipate it was because of the audience I try to write for: christians who are dissatisfied with or are skeptical of what normally passes as christianity in many churches. I suppose that sounds like a pretty odd audience to target, especially for those who've never been a part of the christian subculture, but it's a group that I have tremendous empathy for because I was a member of that group for a substantial portion of my life as a christian.

The more great books I come across and the more amazing people I meet at my church, the more I'm convince of the fact that there's a growing groundswell of christians who want to live out their faith far beyond the walls of the church. There are lots of people asking the same questions I'm asking and that's another reason why I write - because after thinking about these questions for years I finally have some...not answers, that's too definitive of a word...ideas that I want to share because they point towards answers.

Of course I welcome any and all readers as well as all comments and/or questions. Stay tuned, I'm hoping to knock out another episode in the series by the end of this week (I'm giving myself a deadline as a way to spur myself onward).

275. in the meantime

Yeah, I didn't post anything last week, sorry (I try to post at least one entry per week). And this post won't be much either but finishing that entry on salvation took a lot out of me. I mentioned in that post that I had spent around ten hours on that entry. It was probably closer to twenty. Anyone who thinks writing isn't work is just plain wrong (or far more talented than I and if that's the case then I hate you...in love, of course).

In the meantime, some miscellaneous items:

1. I gots lots more in store for the Layman's Theology series so stay tuned.

2. Speaking of that series, my pastor said some really nice things about my last entry on his blog and people left some really great comments. Pastor Eugene gets invited to speak all over the country (and the world) and so his blog has a wide readership. His little plug sent my hit counter through the roof which was tremendously encouraging.

3. I'm currently reading two books that really have my noodle stirring. The first is Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. Just the other day, I was reading this book during my lunch break and realized that he's saying the same things I said, only much better and with more humor and with a lot more life experience to back it all up (among other things, he spent a summer in Calcutta with Mother Theresa before she died).

By the way, if what I'm writing is resonating with you at all, I highly, HIGHLY recommend picking up a copy of Irresistible Revolution. It's by far the best thing I've ever read and I don't say that lightly. You can read a very insightful review of the book here. And while I'm linking to their site, let me mention that the Hearts And Minds bookstore is a great place to find stelar christian writing - a welcome respite from the drivel that passes as christian writing in most christian bookstores (oops, was that too harsh?).

I actually found that book last week while looking for Brian McLaren's new book, Everything Must Change, which as it turns out wasn't out last week because it hit the shelves this week. I picked up McLaren's book this week and I'm only a few pages into it but I can already see that reading this book along with Claiborne's should be a very synergistic experience.

4. Speaking of synergistic pairings, I've been realizing that there have been a few other times in my life where I've read a pair of books that resonated with one another. A few examples:

Most recently, I've just finished The Cannon by Natalie Angiers, which I read along with The Language of God by Francis Collins (who I wrote about in post 271...btw, thanks for the book, Nate). Both books are about science - Angier approaching the topic from a strictly secular point of view while Collins talked about how science and religion need not be at odds with one another. Collins was instrumental in completing the Human Genome Project and currently serves as the director of the National Human Genome Research Institute so his scientific credentials are unquestionable. He also happens to be a devout christian who is troubled and saddened by the current climate where science and faith are commonly portrayed as irreconcilable ways of understanding reality. (As a note of warning, while I found Angier's survey of the various disciplines of science to be fascinating, her writing style was too clever for its own good - when given the choice between explaining something in a way that was cute or clever, she always went with cute, and that gets really irritating really fast.)

Also, this blog probably wouldn't exist if it weren't for my reading Anne Lamott's amazing memoir, Traveling Mercies and Donald Miller's now classic, Blue Like Jazz. Prior to reading these books, I thought writing about spiritual matters had to be done with absolute reverence or mind-numbing, christianese-fueled mediocrity. Lamott and Miller's writing showed me that you could write about life as a christian with verve, wit, clarity, and candor.

And since I've already mentioned McLaren, reading his previous book, The Secret Message of Jesus and N.T. Wright's book, Simply Christian, was enlightening and helped me work out a lot of what I've been writing about in terms of how I've come to re-understand christianity. Both books try to step back and hear the teachings of Jesus the way those in the first century would have heard them. (On a side note, what's up with McLaren's titles? The Secret Message of Jesus was far too provocative and Everything Must Change is far too boring.)

5. And I'll end with this.

I've written before about how early in 2006 I finally found contentment as a single person. Well recently I've begun to wonder if I should just conclude I'm one of those people who has the gift of singleness (see also 1 Corinthians 7).

I mean I've practically there already. I can count the number of dates I've had in the past ten years on one hand and that's including instances where it was just hanging out. I've said before that when one is single for a long time, one of two things happens. You either keep lowering your standards until you find someone because you just can't stand being alone or you keep raising your standards because it would take finding someone that much more amazing in order to give up the conveniences and comforts of being single. I've gone the second route to the point of absurdity.

If you must know, my preferences are as follows (in no particular order): christian, asian, smart, funny, outgoing, has short hair, wears glasses, is shorter than me, likes artsy movies, likes to read, likes coffee, prefers not to have kids, and has a British or Australian accent (and this is the short list). Know anybody like that?

Well, I recently saw a video on the TED website of a woman who comes close. She's not asian and I'm not sure if she's a christian and she doesn't have an accent but she's super funny, super smart, and the fact that she uses big words that I didn't understand before looking them up does things in me that are unmentionable in polite company. Her name is Erin McKean and she's the editor in chief (!) of The New Oxford American Dictionary. She's also really cute.

If the video below doesn't work, you can see her TED presentation by clicking here.