23. the egg and the butterfly

So inside still wants out but instead of waiting for the shell to burst it's going to have to wait for the pieces to chip and break away. Bit by bit and piece by piece, brick by brick, chips and fragments. I'd rather the whole be blown apart but I think of an egg. I can't remember why but I remember reading somewhere that you can't help a chick out of its shell - it needs to struggle and make it's own way out. In the same way, a butterfly cannot be helped out of its cocoon. There's some kind of coating that gets deposited on it's wings in the struggle to get out and if some outside force (like some well-meaning third grader) tries to help the butterfly by breaking the cocoon, it won't be able to fly.

Inside wants out but there's something to be learned in the struggle to emerge. God could intervene but he wants me to fly and so he waits and watches me struggle.

Bit by bit, crack by crack...and one day...

I'll take to the air and never look back.

22. Inside Wants Out

Inside wants out but it doesn't know how
inside wants out but it can not find a way
inside wants out to turn the world around
inside wants out so bad it can not breathe

21. hallelujah...

Well it’s not a cry that you hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

- Leonard Cohen via Jeff Buckley